Last Night Sucked

Okay, so last night was not my greatest of nights. Went on a date, and it kinda sucked. It's a lot harder than I had ever anticipated it being. The last time I really dated was in college. It was easy then. Especially given the fact that I went to a school where the guys outnumbered the girls something crazy like 8 to 1. I had my pick. Now, not so much. Seriously, I think I need to move somewhere that has a larger gene pool to select from. There is a new guy at work who is REALLY cute. I would go so far as to say he's pretty hot. I'll call him Cali Boy. (yep someone from California moved here for work...) Anyway, I am a pretty outgoing person (those who know me are laughing right now, because that's kind of an understatement) until it comes to talking to really hot guys. And suddenly I'm an awkward, self-conscious 17 year old high school student again. So, I've been trying to get over that so I can talk to this guy. It hasn't happened yet. Will can't understand it either. And so I said to him last night, "why do you think I never really talk to ____". (this other guy who is equally HOT just came back to third shift. I've known him for 4 years, and I can still barely talk to him without being foolish...) Will was stunned. He had no idea I had a huge crush on this guy. So, I pose the question, how do I get over this and start a conversation with Cali Boy?
But back to my night that wasn't so great. When I got to work, I was already much more frustrated than I had anticipated. Things like this cause my mind to move to the whole 'I'll be alone forever' crap. Whether it's true or not, is beside the point. It's where my mind was.
Another thing about me, I care way more what other people think than I usually let on. (Lead Momma says that's not a fault...) Most of the time I don't let it bother me when my co-workers or my supervisors pick on me. It's that kind of atmosphere; but last night, it got to me. More than anything, I hate having my faults pointed out to me (who does, really?) and it seemed like this was the night for that. It got to a point that I had tears in my eyes when I was talking to Will, and I had to walk away.
So, hopefully, tonight will be a better day.