Friends...its a funny word. Just a few short letters and yet they stand for so very much. I guess I'm really true to my zodiac sign on this one. (I'm a Scorpio. We're known for being fiercely loyal, but also known to have a sting when crossed.) Friends are supposed to be loyal. It's what I expect. They are supposed to be there for you when things are great and when things are not so great. When you're worried about something, they should listen and be supportive. Not cold and unfeeling and uncaring. That's not friendship. Quite frankly, that's bullshit. And I'm not sure why I keep putting up with it everyday. Everyday there are small rejections, and I don't even realize them at the time, but it's what it is. I said I was nervous about the grad school application. Nothing not even a response about it. It's like I'm speaking to a brick wall.
I really didn't think things would change this much. I'm astounded. I've lost one of my closest friends in the world. Something absolutely amazing happened at work last night. And I didn't even mention it because I knew in my heart that it wouldn't matter. That the friend wouldn't care. I was told this was all in my head. That I'm being overly sensitive. I shared that with Preschool Queen. She laughed. Hard. She said that I can be a lot of things, but overly sensitive would never be one of them. Perceptive, yes. Overly sensitive, nope. So, I don't know. Why do I keep trying to keep this friendship? When am I going to just let go?
2 comments:
You are so brave to put this out here. Speak it.
very brave..
TG, I have this friend in whom I have boundless trust.. like there's not a thought in my mind that isn't shared.. at times I think it's futile and that the feeling isn't 100% mutual, but that doesn't stop me from being 110% committed to safe-guarding the friendship we've had for years..
I'm no stranger to thinking 'why isn't he/she caring about what I say or think?'.. I'm not very experienced in life and stuff but from what I know, it's a phase.. and over time, you'll have a filtered, crystal clear view of who deserves to be that person in whom you have boundless, unrestrained trust..
Regards
P.s: thanks your comment.. it's been a long time :)
Post a Comment